Ok…I want to know who the HELL invented MORNINGS? I’m the original Queen of Darkness. I hate mornings. The only thing that makes a morning worth getting up for is GREAT coffee. And so what happened this morning? I got a call from Lowe’s at 7 FUCKING A.M. They told Me they would be here with My wood within the hour? I’m like, WTF? I never make it to bed till about 4am, so I was in NO way ready to crawl from under My comforter. And to top it all off…I didn’t have any coffee ready for Me when I rolled out of bed. Trust Me, the check out guy at Starbucks at 7:20am didn’t try to make chit chat with Me. I think the evil was oozing off of Me.
Now that the wood has been delivered and neatly stacked, I’m gonna be spending My day watching topless construction workers through My window and thinking yummy thoughts. Can you even IMAGINE? Now, doesn’t that make you want to Call Me for some HOT FUCKING phonesex?
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