I have been on vacation, a lovely little jaunt down the west coast, on the beautiful US 1. Who the hell made this fucking thing?????? People on leave from the insane assylum?? For heaven’s sake, there is no straight part to this thing, just turn after turn after turn. No guard rails, small lanes, people in over priced cars doing 110 mph coming at you with a look of pure terror on their face. There was one point in the road where we were assending, I looked to the driver and for a brief moment they looked at me, I grabbed their hand and in unison we screamed OH GOD!!!! Right in front of us was nothing, just blue sky. I thought for sure we were gonna pull a thelma and louise. The driver made the turn, hurtling us down this deep reviene only to be met with another crazy assed sharp turn. We needed to get off the road, the driver was white as a sheet and I was almost crying in fear. We kept going between sinner: OH SHIT!!! and saint: OH GOD!!! After we finally were able to exit this death trap road we started laughing, it was the kind of laughter you get when you have dodged bullets and were finally safe. Now don’t get me wrong, it was beautiful, but not beautiful enough for me to want to die there. So, a small bit of advice for those of you that have never driven on this road, but might be thinking it’s a good idea….bring a few pair of clean undies, pray like mad and get ready to make up swear words and yell them at the top of your lungs, or better yet, just don’t travel the damn thing.
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